Member-only story
Haven’t Touched My Wife in 439 Days…
If there’s no intimacy, what am I doing here?
Dear Mary,
It’s been exactly 1 year, 3 months, and 12 days since I last made love to my wife. It was right after our second child was born. Since then, it’s always the same: if I try to touch her, she flinches. If I try to kiss her, she turns her face away. If I suggest intimacy, there’s always an excuse — “the babies might wake up,” “I’m too tired,” “I have a headache,” “not today.” The rejection has become so constant that I don’t even know what it feels like to be desired anymore. Each day is a wound that deepens in my soul. Our bed, once a place of intimacy and passion, is now just a cold piece of furniture where two strangers pretend to sleep.
I tried everything, Mary. Absolutely everything. Candlelit dinners when the kids were at their grandmother’s always ended the same way: “Not tonight, I’m tired.”
The sexy lingerie I bought for Christmas remains untouched in the drawer, the card still sealed. I suggested couple’s therapy — she laughed, saying that was “for people with real problems.”
I started going to the gym, thinking maybe I’d let myself go. Changed my haircut, renewed my wardrobe… Nothing. The emptiness only grew.
