Member-only story
Is Your Man Devouring Other Women With His Eyes?
Mine Does Too.
That hilarious moment when your partner tries to disguise his instant neck sprain at the sight of a beauty walking by is Oscar-worthy. The same man who claimed to have chronic neck problems suddenly develops Olympic-athlete-level flexibility. It’s amazing how male anatomy allows for 180-degree rotations without breaking a single vertebra — a true marvel of evolution deserving in-depth medical studies.
A phenomenon so consistent and predictable we could use it to calibrate atomic clocks — just place a stunning woman to walk by every hour on the dot and observe the perfectly synchronized male cervical movement.
The excuses are masterpieces of human creativity. “Honey, I was just admiring the architect’s work on that building” (which coincidentally stands exactly behind the woman in leggings). Or my absolute favorite: “Darling, I thought I saw a rare bird!” Yes, love, that rare bird wearing 6-inch heels and red lipstick that somehow only you managed to spot.
The male ability to create elaborate stories in seconds surpasses any sci-fi author. If they channeled this creativity into writing books, we’d have a new generation of Nobel Prize winners in Literature.
The most fascinating part is our ability to pretend we don’t see the little show…