So, What’s Really Stopping You From Experimenting?

When Fear Holds You Back More Than Actual Limits

Mary Carter
4 min readNov 6, 2024

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I constantly observe a curious dance between desire and fear in couples. There’s always that revealing moment when “I don’t want to” actually translates to “I’m afraid to want it.”

And that’s what we need to talk about.

The issue isn’t about specific practices — it’s about permission. Permission to desire, to explore, to transcend the limits society has imposed on us.

The most fascinating thing is seeing how couples who overcome these barriers discover a much deeper intimacy on the other side.

Our biggest blocks are rarely physical — they’re mental. It’s the fear of judgment, rejection, of being seen as “different.”

As if there were an official manual for what’s “normal” in intimacy between two people who love and trust each other.

What I’ve observed is revealing: the more “proper” and “controlled” someone is in public life, the more intense their repressed desires are in private.

It’s as if we create a prison of social expectations that we’re afraid to escape from.

Photo by Hardeep Singh

True intimacy begins when we stop performing and start being. When we drop the masks we wear daily and allow…

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Mary Carter
Mary Carter

Written by Mary Carter

I share candid reflections on love, sex, and life's ups and downs, no holds barred and no taboos.