Who Wants More Sex? You or Her?

Does anyone still want more in these days?

Mary Carter
5 min readNov 15, 2024

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I was at that dinner with friends when the conversation took an interesting turn. Between glasses of wine and laughter, a confession came up that made me choke on my dessert.

Photo by Malcoln Oliveira

A friend, eyes fixed on her glass, admitted she has sex with her husband without wanting to “to avoid problems.” The worst part? Looking around the table, I saw several faces nodding in silent agreement.

It’s frightening how we’ve normalized this shit in the 21st century.

That dinner awakened me to a reality that silently boils in so many bedrooms. Between cold sheets of resignation, nights of fake pleasure, forced kisses, and faked orgasms multiply. A silent pandemic of sexual relations empty of desire but full of obligation.

Listen, things are what they are: I have a strong libido that I don’t hide. But I also have days of couch, shitty series, and popcorn. Nights when the only touch I want is from the TV remote.

And my partner? Same thing.

Because we’re people, fuck, not fucking machines programmed to work at set times.

This sick obsession with “who wants more” is poisoning our relationships. We’ve transformed sex into some kind of banking negotiation.

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Mary Carter
Mary Carter

Written by Mary Carter

I share candid reflections on love, sex, and life's ups and downs, no holds barred and no taboos.